Good News for Marriage – Five Keys to Go From Good to Great

By Dennis Gallaher, July 15, 2015

Hispanic couple holding hands on beach

How about some good news about marriage?

With all of the disturbing and disgusting news that continues to grind out of the culture, there is some good news that has gone largely unreported. Did you know…

• The current divorce rate has never been close to the 50% mark that is so often reported. That figure is urban legend, friend. The actual divorce rate for first time marriages is around 30% and considerably lower in the church.
• Unhappy in your marriage? Avoid divorce. Eight out of ten who avoid divorce will be happily married 5 years later.
• Church attendance ALONE lowers the divorce rate significantly and those who report “God is at the center of our marriage” are twice as likely to be at the highest level of happiness compared with those who do not have God at the center.
• The often reported “fact” that the divorce rate in the general public is the same in the church is not true. Nuff said. It’s a myth.
• The large majority of remarriages last. Over 60% of second marriages last “till death do us part.”
  Stats taken from The Good News About Marriage, by Shaunti Feldhahn

Contrary to most reports, there is a lot of hope for a happy marriage. My favorite “good news” is this:

The actions necessary to turn a mediocre marriage into a great one are simple and doable acts of kindness and consideration.

In other words, guys, you don’t have to sit in a counselor’s office week in and week out to go from a mediocre marriage to one that’s great. More than 90% of married people deeply care about one another. The root of most problems is that one partner is unhappy and the other is unaware. That’s a much easier “problem” to solve than the big ones that end in separation and divorce.

Five simple ways to make… and keep… your wife happy.

1. Leave your world and enter into hers. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church.” How does Jesus love the church? Answer – Jesus left His world (Heaven) and entered into ours. He willingly left His world and became fully invested in ours. A man’s world is logic, work and conquering battles. A woman’s world is emotions, kids, talk, relationships and, did I mention emotions? Leave your world every day and enter into hers.
2. Love her the way she wants to be loved. The last time I looked, cards and flowers were for sale any time of the year. Not just on Valentine’s Day.
3. Put down the cell phone, t.v. clicker or computer and TAKE HER ON A DATE.
4. Hold her hand, open a door, and don’t honk the horn to get her to hurry.
5. Call her during the day to tell her you love her.  When she says, “Who is this?”, don’t hang up.

The biggest mistake men make is to not realize that woman are responders by nature. In other words, often times they are simply responding to what is being offered to them. If you don’t like the response then change what is being responded to, meaning you. Give to her something that she needs (like kindness, a gentle answer, a listening ear, undivided attention and time) and the response will amaze you.

The best news is this… having a great marriage is not that tough. All you have to do is leave your world and serve your wife. Believe me, no matter how much you think you’re giving up it doesn’t compare with what Jesus gave to serve you.

Get over yourself. Start leading by serving.
And get ready for a great marriage.

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